Several years ago my sister Susan died suddenly and unexpectedly. Though no one knows the
cause for sure, it was probably heart related.
She left to this world a then
10 month-old
son, Nicholas, to love and to raise....
The following is an open-ended letter I
wrote; it is
addressed to my sister. I read it aloud at a small family
ceremony
a year after her death.
Susan's death was an end and a
beginning. I
will continue to trust what is yet to come, to surrender as much as I
can, and to watch myself play a large part in this ongoing adventure to
care for young Nicholas.
Dear Susan,
What an amazing test you have helped create for us.
It feels like a test sometimes. For me, Mom, Dad, John (the baby's
father), and Nicholas your amazing son.
A test of our commitment to resolve differences, to support
each
other, to understand each other, and to let old wounds surface so that
they can be looked at honestly and finally laid to rest.
How have we done so far? Is there a final exam?
I am certain it is all part of the ongoing test of being human and
stretching ourselves to grow and to learn. Feelings and all, I remain
grateful for this test with all of its many
opportunities for change and letting go.
Sometimes I feel sad that you are not able to play a part in raising
Nicholas. He is quite a magical little guy. When I take him to the park
or to the beach, I sometimes feel as if I take
you along with us. I imagine you smiling and enjoying the outing also.
It has been
such a pleasure to care for Nicholas and devote myself
to fatherly
wizardry. Nicholas and I often explore the secret waterfalls
in
Golden
Gate Park, and
constantly teach each other of our Magical Selves.
Amidst the evolving course of events, I still find time to write and
develop
new ways of sharing my work with others.
Everything is in flux (as usual), and
maybe you are watching it all unfold with excitement, as I am.
“Michael
has a naturally
playful and creative
personality. He blends this with a strong intuitive sense to help
you discover the heart of your issues.”
—
Jasmine Gold,
Certified
Four Agreements Facilitator
and Healer, Cotati, CAwww.SpiritGold.com